Hello. I am Egan

YOU

2007-04-25T17:45:47Z

you of all people caused so much pain.

i just wanna turn back the clock. really. to understand what happened. why did it turn out this way? i just don't understand it. everything was perfectly fine. and now this happens.all i want is just to go back to the beginning where everything was fine and you were stronger. have u seriously forgotten everything?

whats wrong with you?

You Always Say Goodnight

2007-04-04T18:16:42Z

I'm sorry shen!! i dont know why but you always have the tendency to see me vomit. damn poor thing la u. drunk or not.

i wont vomit in front of you anymore.

then again i shouldnt even be vomitting.

sorry for the long pause from the blogging! have been quite occupied and normally i cant find the energy to blog at the end of the day. everything is still the same. hectic as usual!

a lot of questions in my mind that i want answered and i hope i can clear them soon. :)

Neverwhere has 5 songs. more or less complete on my part but we all need to get tighter.. by julyjulyjulyjuly! should be ok la.
threewaystreet is enjoying themselves in tioman while im still in singapore suffering the mundane life

i should be enlisting in september. gotta call CMPB. im guessing with the fact that my highest education level being PSLE, im gonna be in mono intake. which sucks but i'll just take whatever comes along my way. nothings too difficult i guess.

i wish i had a laser gun

"must take care of yourself more k?" ahh words of encouragement. :) really helps
ill be fine. i normally am. whether i'm lying or not, i believe i am. I wanna be 18 now. this sucks. being on the verge of legalism. :( IT SUCKS SERIOUSLY. when i'm always at tables and having to be the youngest all the time. WAHLAOOOO!!! damn demeaning.

people are at clubs now.

Emo kids. sighhhh. just read a thread on soft.com.sg about the image of emo kids and the music that is "in". why o why. though i admit i dislike the image that emo kids carry but who am i to say they shouldnt dress this way!?! lol. all i can say is do whatever u feel like doing. but then again, i dont find the "emo" image the least bit presentable at all. how do you walk around when the hair is covering ur face?!? i had long fringe once and i kept sneezing. my hair tickles my nose :( its so sad.

and yes i seriously miss u for some darn strange reason!!

i wanna be a monkey for one day. or a gorilla. i wanna adopt a chimpanzee. but i already look like one. so ill adopt myself.

peace

LifeLifeLife

2007-03-28T05:20:29Z

Grandma's Operation was a success thank God seriously. Everything went smoothly and you've no idea how grateful i am. Gonna head down to the hospital to visit her :D

Its been crazy man the past few days but im glad ive gotten over it. i think its time i dont care also anymore and just move on. no point brooding over shit. :D let go and let live. why think so much? why be so damn insecure?

Neverwhere acoustic jam on thursday, so is threewaystreet. and vermillion on friday

im losing my job this saturday and i've to find another one really soon. it could really help. responsibilities from home are being thrown to me left right center. i'm tired but i must push. i must move on. i've friends to support me along the way. :)

and this time i'll listen.

im gonna do the laundry now and then i'm just gonna sit back and be in my zen moment for awhile and enjoy the rain. MWAHS people. love all of u.

yahoooo!

2007-03-26T16:36:03Z

its been a pretty nice off day actually. i passed to lin what i needed to pass to her. :) we went to macs for lunch. thanks lin. really needed that lunch. and then we crashed into eddie, so i stuck with him while she went off to work. AND THEN! GORDON! came along!havent seen him for damn bloody long time. so it was good to catch up with him again.

eddie take care when ur in camp.

Yes i'm back to my usual self again. and i'm happy. and i did something to know that i'm back.

i was on the train on my way back from novena to dhoby ghaut station. when i was walking around novena station i noticed a couple and beside them there was an empty seat so i helped myself. lets see, at that moment i was listening to the wedding march by return to fall. pretty nice mood for the night. the strange part was when i got into the train through the same door as the couple i noticed a bit of tension. i saw down first and the next thing i noe the girl sits down and the guy walks away to the other side of the train. (damn sad la). it made me let out a little sympathy smile not to her but to myself. cause it just reminds me of something so strongly. so i thought to myself,"poor thing la both of them. have to go through this unneccessary argument."
knowing how she feels, i couldnt help feeling very sympathetic.

i took out my EGAN'S book of knowledge notepad and tore out a piece of paper and wrote " CHEER UP! Problems always go away! Smile always! =)" and folded it in half.
i waited till my station at dhoby ghaut, stood up and when the door opened, i passed to her the note. no my number was not on it. she was pretty shocked. i said nothing at all but just smiled, and then i remember, she looked up just when i went pass the door. i didnt see her expression neither did she see mine. just on the dot. hahaha. so movie like when i was walking away. :) cant help it, it still runs in my blood.

i'm just glad that i'm able to do little things like that without expecting anything in return. even for a stranger. even if it didnt make her feel all much better, i'm glad that would make her smile at least a bit when she thinks about it. yes i'm wondering what she was thinking when she recieved the oh so most random note in her life. but i couldnt help it. i understood that feeling of despair so well and i dont want people to feel like their alone. i'm back to my usual self. the attitude of happiness. :) i'm glad. i wonder if id meet her like 5 years down the road, and she'll pop out from no where going"hey its u! my life has never been the same ever since you passed me the note. i can see so many positive things in life now. thanks a million."

hahahha im such a fantasy freak aren't i? :)

before all this i popped by snakeweed after lunch to pay wayne a visit. wahhaha
walked through the door and i saw a pair of small vans. with STARS! at first i was thinking"I DIDNT NOE WAYNE WAS INTO STARS!" then lo and behold daphne was inside. wahhahaha
so yes the usual, HELLLOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! long time no see!!! all that. wahhahaa. and then inch from allura stopped by to! wahhahaaha. it was absolutely random but it really cheered my day up. daph went off first cause she had dance class. so it was wayne, inch and i till like around 8.
Wayne went to newton and inch and i headed to novena. we managed to catch chicken rice dinner there and it was really really good!!! i'm also destined to taste good food all my life. must be my mole below my nose.

i had a very good chat with her about everything. from jokes to serious topics. well its good for me because i have not talked to anyone about what i was going through at all for the past month! and it reallyreally helped me with my emotional outlet. i guess telling people your problems really help sometimes. thanks a million inch. you're a really really nice person :D

I finally brokedown people. IN PUBLIC! like finally. could be the reason why i feel so much better. it was fine at first cause i was listening to alexi laiho's Orange sky. after that Copeland's Priceless came on, and i just completely brokedown. eyes flowing like tap water. WAHHHHH embarrassing but i didnt care. i just couldnt take it anymore. in public. red eyes. lotsa liquid flowing outta my eyelids and then down my cheeks. all the way for the next 15 minutes. people probably thought "why so weird one this boy?" instead of going"maybe i should write a note to cheer him up". LOL. no it didn't help my sinus at all. i can't help it, ive bottled up for too long.

Am i really supposed to take everything to the balls and walk away with it? is this the right thing to do. to just accept it and leave it as it is? but i dont wanna be vindictive about the situation. i dont like retribution. revenge doesnt prove anything at all. what am i supposed to do? for now i'll just take it all and walk away. its the only thing i feel i should do that seems right. i don't wanna be selfish. i'll find an outlet. i always do. :D

its been a fruitful day, back to the new old leaf.

I'll keep holding on

GRAHHH

2007-03-25T06:36:22Z

work! :( workworkwork! i just wanna chill this sunday.

but last nite was pretty fun at shisha. really good company despite being amazingly stoned and tired. BUT being able to get up off your ass and move forward feels good. so i had about 3 hours of sleep but i feel more awake than ever. i'll probably die later on tonight.

i'm not expecting any customers today either. someone!! KEEP ME COMPANY!TALK TO ME TELL ME YOUR NAME! before i go insane with either workload or boredom.

did i mention how much i really dont like my new haircut? blasted NS...

Carter Beauford is soooo good. how does he play drums like that? :( i quit.

hockeyhockey tmr. i hope its still on. itll be fun to be skating again :D

and i am hooked on underoath's some will seek forgiveness, others escape.

and yes, Jesus i'm ready to come home.

Back to my oldself

2007-03-24T13:45:29Z

I feel like a new day. back to my oldself. without the worries and everything. :) yes i promise it to you

the person you once knew without all that emoness and worry. That person you liked. i squeezed to much paranoia in my head and now its time for me to start laughing at it. i've blown up the stupid balloon so big that i've drowned myself. and i remembered certain things that just hit me and put me in my spot.

I'll help you remember the old days! like it once was. the chats the quirky remarks and the laughter through the night and everythingggg!~

i realised something weird. juliana theory's drummer has the same particular style as milton... aiyohhh. everyone sounds like everyone.

Syed said i look like James Dean... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! im alive and im not gonna die at the age of 24. neither am i gay.

or Bi

Lets see. sheesha tonight with doubleyellowline. wakkaakakka im still comtemplating if i should go, but then i again i need company for the shitty day i've been having. KWAA! nvm la..

Neverwhere has to start moving, hmm at the rate we're going i feel like its really chilled but then again maybe i rush too much. relacccccccc. one corner... set up mama shop.

my uncle asked if id like to shoot some pucks on monday. WOOOHOOOO! back to hockey with my uncle again! i cant wait. but this is for like one time only :( its a pity that the hockey scene is so messy now. lets see what hockey blood i have left. time to work off the cigarettes. EEE i really wanna experience legal clubbing. its so sick! ive left withhhhhhhhhhh 5 more months. ok la. should be ok. we're 1/4 past of this year. fuuuuyooooooooo time flying past really too fast!

lets see. the vague stuff... yes i always do think about you and i wonder if you know too! but its ok if you dont. i reallyreally understand. and i remember what i said about being selfish. and its only fair because you've all the reason to be right now! have fun. be free :) theres so much i wanna tell u also, to make ya smile once more! so so much i wanna share. *insert drama BG music* dumdumdummmmmm.

lets go mustapha again one day! and make fun of everything we see there *nods head* and crawl outta bed to suffer the scorching sun in the morning. and dwell in the presence of the M man ;) *winkwink*

but oh you're not alone. thats all i want you to know.

man stop with the emo lyrics. :( im such a sucker for catchy phrases. IM A WIMP!!! wimp imp! lets see. life is like lego. different colors. different shapes. pieces. lets see if i can pick out the right blocks to put up my life. and see if i can get a spaceship or a castle or stupid lil thing called a legoman.

No One Else But Family

2007-03-24T08:42:54Z

I love my family. i really do, no matter how much shit that happens i do. and i can picture nothing else but going back into that shithole to feel comfort again. its funny but its true. :) and i accept it. so im not alone. yes im not.

i'm sorry lin for causing a lot of misunderstandings and i think i've just a lot of questions in my head la. :) reallyreallyreally sorry! and i dont mean things the way i say them.

i heard something recently that really sparked off a bit of thinking again.

"it takes the same exact time to be cold or to be affectionate."

wow, maybe i really havent been myself lately. stop patronising people egan. live your life too. you've gone one, and take it by the balls. :) bulls balls. ill try and stop shaking soo much too.

wikiwikiwiki

2007-03-23T03:40:34Z

I got tagged! to do this survey! :( and its embarrassing but here goes nothing.

These are the rules: Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

1. I dont shower most of the time when i come back home from an outing unless i've to head out again. i mean like WHAT FOR!?!??! at home already. just wanna lie down and die.

2. when i'm in the lift, i have the tendency to sing damn bloody loud. DONT LAUGH! i know u do that too!

3. i make weird random comments about the defects in my body at times. like when i have a headache, i say " i feel like a thousand cows just screwed me" :(

4.i have christmas lights in my room and at nite, i lie to myself and say that its the galaxy right outside my window

5.I like to watch drunk people.. they reallyreallyreally amuse me. whether their the angry sort or talkative. :) its quite sadistic cause i'm benefiting from their ridiculous actions

6.i'm quite an emotional person and if u read my blog u can probably tell already :P but i dont let it get in the way i wanna live my life. i think its fair. lol

I DONT KNOW WHO TO TAG!!! IM NOT CRUEL unlike someone! sooo if u think this survey is fun and funny, help yourself :D

sighh

2007-03-21T17:13:05Z

What have i done?

I think my mind is clear

2007-03-21T14:12:30Z

i think i've cleared what i wanted to clear. i should be feeling better now.

i too would like to go shopping one fine day. its 40 dollars to go batam btw. maybe ill go there by myself one day and chill at the beach! darn it!! im still a loner :(
Grandma is heading to the operating theater this saturday. i can't say much except for the fact that i'm really worried and i pray and hope everything goes fine.

all these feelings are so familiar. never thought id be back here again. touche egan.

i had an absolutely horrible day yesterday and it made matters worse when i couldnt play properly for jamming.
thats it i seriously seriously need a break from all this stress that i'm getting!

i need a new job too. i wouldnt be working for wakemeup music for long. my life is undergoing big changes right now and ive gotta adapt really quick or im gonna lose things fast.

i dont noe how long my life can go on like that. and its not good. im losing my self identity. what i worth.

im happy im happy im happy im happy. im strong im strong im strong im strong. ill live ill live ill live ill live. ill wait ill wait ill wait ill wait.

well the main issue is im sick and tired of having to have responsibilities thrown at me from all angles. i wanna sit back. i just wanna live a life of some one ordinary for a change. having to handle everything, i'll just die under my own weight without even knowing what hit me. and i realised, i haven't had anyone tell me to just hold on at all. to just hang in there. and lie to me that everything will be fine.
then again, do i really need it? i've a family to handle and the end of shit is near. so i'll just hang in there. its been 4 years. i think one more shouldnt be so bad :)
there are things to think of to make my day anyway. ill just think those.

Someone to have and someone to hold
Someone to Say Yes and to say no.
to share all the silver and gold.

The Root Of All My Happiness, Oh The Most Highest

2007-03-17T07:14:17Z

I finally sorted out the insecurities. see, its all a matter of just taking a step back and knowing what to do at the right time, at the right place.

End to all negativity and live on positivity. :)

it'll be different from here forth, i promise.

Let's see, i dont think i blogged yesterday so here goes.
yesterday basically started off with a big blast of duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and then i headed to Wakemeup music some time in the afternoon. planted my laptop here at the shop for razi to use the laptop. ended up updating his myspace profile for him. poor guy.
so this is what we ended up doing

was supposed to head to the esplanade but i couldn't find the strength and effort to do so. thus, in the end i stayed at WMUM to watch my friend's band practice for their laselle's recital.

had a nice walk at the pasar malam near my place and got some munchies and headed back to catch valiant.

and for those of you whom i've told the lights/stars idea on my window. this is what it looks like without black cloth but with bamboo blinds.

now im at work. had a nice phonecall in the afternoon and im gonna be eating my hello pandas right now.

I pray for your safety, Grandma

2007-03-15T18:22:36Z

Once again she has been sent to the hospital via ambulance. how long more will this go on? i dont know. i do know, its not her time yet. not now. not right now.
she's fine and i know it. its just pain but her time is definitely not up yet.

she'll be ok

i coughed, i saw something. and i should really stop smoking already.

yes i've been sounding so sad lately. i dont think im really sad. there are others out there who go through worse things than i do. this is no time to be sad.. though its been an absolutely long time since i cried. why is it so hard to cry now? i dont wanna be a stone. :)

someone to tell me its alright. to tell me everything is gonna be ok. someone to just let know me know im not alone :)

its been a really long day. im stoned and lethargic. ive heard so much bad stuff today that is making me be in the ultimate sian feeling. its quite sad how others are suffering so badly. feeling like they've lost everything.

ill stop being such a prick and blog happier stuff :)

jamming today was not bad. threewaystreet works so much better without the stress. it was nice of shiekh to come by. its really good to have him back in the group hanging out with us now.and i'm sorry sabrina that the simpang thing got cancelled. we'll make it up to you.

and i'm also glad that everything was sorted out. i hope you feel a load off your shoulders now. :)

i shall sleep soon and wear it all off. but not after i hear good news about my grandma.

she'll be fine. everything is fine

I should have known too

2007-03-15T08:15:57Z

I should have known better myself too.

I really am caught up in my own little world and i'm sucking in people into my dimension unknowingly too. man am i that selfish? what's wrong with me? i need to sort it out. does being a loner help any good?

can someone please tell me how to change my layout?

i think now im filled with mixed feelings :) happy yet sad. angry yet calm. feeling disabled but yet being able to move around.
frustrating,i really understand how you feel.

but alls good. i just think too much. comes with being an introvert and loving this lonely feeling sometimes aint good at all. i wish i had the funds to go out more.

i pray the past, whatever happened, will not come back to haunt me cause that is the last thing that i need right now.

i wonder what my dad is up to?

i've a pillar to lean on. i should still be happy i can acknowledge that fact.

stop thinking so much egan. maybe i should start bitching about people, then people will start reading my blog. mann, we can all be such busybodies sometimes.

jamming tonight, jamming tomorrow. just what i need to get my mind off stuff :) music is truly a miracle.

i wish i still had a dog too. and i should stop laughing so much, it causes trouble

yea it does doesnt it?

Chinga-ny Ching Ching

2007-03-14T16:26:00Z

I really need more cash. i think ive to stay home for one week to save money. lol and just eat maggi mee or indomee all day. i really could just do that.

Let's say all negative feelings are wearing off thank God. i really needed this outing today. to sort out some of my thoughts :) thanks a million even though it was supposed to be one on one with gamer :)

it's all about affirming once in awhile. i guess it is true telling yourself to believe something is one thing, but having to see it with your own eyes and to feel it with your heart there and then, is a totally different experience.

HAPPY 70th BIRTHDAY!!! to that person you know who you are. despite old age, ull always be the same, except wrinkly on the outside!

any good movies to lend me? or books? anything at all?

hmmm and of course aren't we all sick and tired of being misunderstood? once again it reminds me of how people have the tendency to just believe what they wanna believe. hear what they wanna hear. i can't help it if anyone out there is just too stubborn to hear an explanation. so at times its always best to just shut up.

i believe i need a change of skin and more pictures to be put up to make this darn LJ look livelier.

i guess i wont be finishing the whiskey tonight either. mann i shouldnt procrastinate and just finish the bottle already. and i really really like firefight.

Things to do:
watch 300
go to sentosa during the afternoon and stay there till night
get a testimonial about my family background and income done ASAP
and to start cooking once again

Can't wait :) really can't wait at all

knightlaughalot @ 2007-03-14T02:49:00

2007-03-13T18:50:50Z

I'm Missing Out in the most important thing in life. But Hey, i'm not complaining

How am i supposed to feel?

2007-03-13T18:08:15Z

honestly i have not felt this way in a very long time and i never thought i would. but wow i couldnt believe the amount of negativity that was blossoming through my own fickle mind.

id die under my own weight trying to keep it up. but hey i did it for a good cause and i did it for someone. :)

rainy weathers awesome. i really love it more than a sun. i would love for it to rain every single second if not for the fact that my shoes tend to soak up whatever that falls under the category of liquid. pity..

Back home now, gonna keep awake until morning i think, wear off the negative feelings by watching two movies maybe.
just caught hard candy anyway and i thought it sadistic.everything about the movie has been stamped into my brain. its like some disease. i actually pitied the paedo.

ok who am i kidding? i'm still deeply bothered by what happened tonight. how am i supposed to feel!?! ok calm down. make a choice.
I dont know if its me, or them or just all of us.

maybe im just not exposed to this kinda environment often. i need to get out more. PRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPRPR.

i'm not bothered about how they treated me i guess cause i believe i've enough emotional support from my friends. but i guess its really just how i've to trust them. trusting people you promised yourself to never trust from the beginning. am i supposed to remember my past or believe that everyone and everything has the capacity to change, like what i always tell myself.

its not that i dont trust u, i dont trust them. but whatever i said earlier stands. and this does not mean i'm changing myself or everything we talked about. its more of increasing my patience and learning things in life i've yet to learn :)

must write a new song with a time signature of 4/4....

I'm absolutely clueless

OH and yes i've shifted back to pasir ris

helloyou.

2007-03-13T10:03:03Z

Smoking deathsticks, rain falls on your face.

What are you thinking about? Is everything in your mind stable?
Are you addicted to everything? from deathsticks to finding out who stole your shoe from way back when?
Do you cry now, or later? or is it all just a little prick to you that you could just pull out from the palm of your hands and move on?
Have you found out the meaning to all the things that you have done in your past, or have you simply forgotten everything?
everything that you have lived for. everything you sacrificed just to find that little bit of happiness.
anxiety takes over, and you climb blindly into the black hole. next thing you know, you're stepping on your own feet but blatantly swinging your fists in the darkness trying to find your persecutor.

you can't move, you can't breathe.
you're stranded on an island with nothing but a rope and a coconut.
what shall I do now, you ask yourself.
Left or right.
Foreground background.
Vertical Horizontal.

Air compression hits you once more.
which dimension am i in, you say.
an oxygen tank! in front of you.
what's the point, i'm stranded anyway.
or
the fight has only just began?

Fight it. there's no other way, and you know it.
Fighting gives you a reason to live on each day.
you fight for your friends, the circumstances or yourself.
the fact can't escape that there is always something to fight for.
be it to live on for the wonderful taste of coconut juice that will flow down your throat to quench any bitterness that stales your tongue.

Poof, you wake up from that dream, from that castle you built to house you in.
what was all that about?
a wake up call? or just a dream?
So many questions so little time.

Firmly Decided To Blog Once Again

2007-03-13T09:46:18Z

I've realised there's possibly no other way to come clean to your own feelings besides blogging. We all have the tendency to deny all negative thoughts when it comes to sharing with others.

Insecurities build up due to bottling things up. perhaps i've been worried too much cause too much has been bottled up. caught up in our own little world once again. you're right, when you said whats the point of worrying so much.

i've forgotten the days when i was stronger. where i could turn worry into something positive where in a snap, i could stand on top of it. what happened to you Egan...
But despite the darkness that i've put myself in, something special has happened recently. and i do believe i havent felt happier after a long while.

i'll just tell myself that whatever bad things are happening right now, are simply phases in life that we MUST go through in order to grow. growth, is unstoppable. it depends on how we grow. to the left, or to the right. which ones the one that i really wanna take.

i'm also wondering why theres a bald guy holding a phone at the right side of my screen right now.

define bad... bad is part of your conscience telling you that something is negative. something that would not help you improve in your life and put you in a terrible shithole that you know will be difficult to dig out off.

i really should sort out what i should be worried about, i can't let my emotions and insecurities take over me. not just me but everyone should to, because we're all stronger than that. more macho.

but to someone out there, you must know you're special, and yes you are strong. you have the capacity to rise over everything no matter how hard the wave hits you. i know you've been through worse so over acknowledging the things that shouldnt be bothering you, is gonna just let you feel worse. :)

i'm strong and the support from friends are overwhelming.

you're special

Thou Shalt Update

2007-01-16T00:29:08Z

Since the new year, what has Egan been doing?

lets seeeee. i met the queen of england, got elected mayor of new york, will be running for president next year,fall ill(like right now), and played a gig.

Well whats been on my mind these fews days is the show that Sons Of Liberty Played on Sunday. Its the best show ever! having the first floor of Gas haus packed with people moshing during our set. BODY SURFERS TOO! good lord. it was unbelievable. i'm surprised i didnt break any cymbals though. thats a good thing. but the sound man was sure a pain in the ass. didnt get to do the special song i wrote :) but alls well. hope to gig real soon again! whahahha.

anybody took pictures?!?! please share if u have. :) i want this show to be kept in my memory forever.

my phlegm is everywhere. i believe my terapin is gonna die soon too. im such a bad pet owner :( i gotta stop buying live things, like children or something. the last one i bought, sheesh, he refused to work. so i had to put him away.

Moms coming back today, while im sick. hooray.

Lets see... oh no.. im looking at hossan leong dressed as a woman on tv.... :(

and from entertainment, the news jumps to soccer.... how organised. its 8.25am and dont ask me why im up. cause ill tell u! LOL.

Virus is murdering me from the inside. tearing me into pieces! BREAKING MY HEART! i cry and i cry oh how pain this torturous sensation. :( Put me away! GRAHHHH! ...oops the tissue dropped outta my nose.

so many personal problems have cropped up in the last fifteen days. pretty unbelievable

i would love to catch up with all my frens, one on one. so guys just let me know when ur free. id love to meet up with u to just talk and catch up!

:) take care guys

Reasons to a cool year

2007-01-01T17:16:00Z

Here's a few reasons why i know its gonna be a bad year
1)I'm still perpetually tired. or maybe its the post festive season thing
1)Because i'm now paying adult fare for transportation
1)I walked in the dark confidently, and bumped in a shelf and cut my lip
34)i haven't had a change of clothes because i've been out the whole time

Now here's a few reasons as to why its gonna be a good year
2)I had alcohol into the new year but i didnt get drunk.(is that a good thing? yes)
3)was at eriks into the new year. and practically spent the rest of my afternoon playing muOnline with jonjon.
12)cut my lip while i was walking in the dark
5)without a change of clothes i still smell alright
and
12)i havent had a headache or stomachache so far.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HARI RAYA

New Year Resolutions

2006-12-29T15:22:40Z

I can't keep having expectations of people. i realise i keep disappointing myself all the time. need to keep an even more open mind this time round.

the quit smoking part.......... *scratch head* wahhhh don't know man. i can't promise this one.

GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND DO WELL!

earn abs of steel and killer biceps...(I'm kidding)

get more patience for a particular someone :)

Publicity time- Amateur takes Control, Adel's solo work, is possibly one of the best stuff i've ever heard produced locally. potential! www.myspace.com/amateurtakescontrol

and i just found out someone still doesnt like me but its all good :)

its been a really crazy christmas. so much ups and downs but i cant complain. its been really exciting. im happy for the experience :D

hope the new year is gonna be good for all you guys!!!! 07 holds many many changes for all of us so i pray u guys would be able to adapt to whatever changes and rid all negative stuff from ur mind and heart!! :D

TA!!!

Take It

2006-12-19T21:22:05Z

Neverwhere! hmmm wrote this song. not too sure what the lyrics are because i didnt write them. credits goes to LINLIN! my vocalist, the chick dude.

tmr's cell group and each of us are supposed to cook something that sums up how our year was.

So i ripped off one of vanessafrida's recipes!! whahahahah! something simple la actually. a widdle bacon wrapped asaparagus. havent tried it out so i hope the guys like it. no food poisoning involved i promise.

I just got back from erik's place and we spent the time fixing bicycles and talking about samurai techniques.

bad news after bad news. im serious, each christmas holds a lot of mishaps. some not so bad, some really atrocious. but its all cool :) we move on. think about the future and the present. just do with what we have, and let God create that miracle in our lives.

of course the great rainy days! its been raining every single day!!!! but its been awesome! ive not used an umbrella so much before. its actually really nice
i wanna try wearing a poncho and walk in the rain. think itll be awesome :) just one day, before the new year.

wonder what you're thinking

my 15th entry

2006-12-17T18:58:19Z

oh man i thought i had more. this is how bad i am as a blogger. :(

HEADLINES:

Proper publicity but a rushed poster! thanks felina for helping out though. much appreciated :)

TUNE IN GUYS!

been listening to too much broken social scene. and ive been having too many late nites.

Christmas time is coming and when i was on bus 111 on my way to meridian food court from work, it kinda hit me when i was passing orchard.

kinda weird how everything seems temporary. the decos the people, the expression on their faces. the joy of families filling the air with laughter and smiles. after the month of december, everythings back to normal again. back to the dog-eat-dog world. traces of happiness vanishes entirely without a trace.

Yes, its my favorite holiday, and yet also the least.

still the joy of it all is that Jesus was born, came into this cruel world, lived through torment, and died, not for his own pride or dignity, but for our sins. Pretty cool :)

Merry Christmas Everybody

Because Fel asked me to.....

2006-12-14T16:50:02Z

Plot: After their father has passedaway, a family struggles to holdthemselves together as their mentally-challenged son gets into an accident.

Lead Roles:

"Deanna"
17 to 19 years old, female, pleasant-looking, strong personality.

"Irene"
40 to 45 years old, female, pleasant-looking, strong character, able toportray being overworked and worrysome

"Daniel"
10 to 12 years old, male, able toportray being a bit mentally-challenged

"Donna"
8 to 10 years old, female, adorable,chatty

Other Roles:
1 Doctor
1 Nurse
2 Paramedics
7 BulliesAudition

Date: 13 December 2006, WED
Audition Time: 3pm to 6pm
Audition Venue: The Substation, either Classroom 1 or Classroom 2

Please e-mail to fellynelly@hotmail.com or call me at 81124736 to express your interest in any of the above roles.

thank you. :)

(P.S:This film will be entered into the Singapore International Film Festival (SIFF) Silver Screen Awards 2007 in April. It is directed by film director, Kan Lume, who has won many awards for his past short films)

COME ON PEOPLE! A CHANCE TO BE POPULAR!

Who do I wanna be when I grow up?

2006-12-14T11:14:13Z

then again i dont want the only goal in my life to just be that of a title. I dont just wanna be a director, a musician, an engineer, or even a governor.

rather, id wanna be a man with a unique character. i wanna be strong-headed. i wanna be versatile and well-mannered. the simple basics of good personality. i wanna be someone whom people can count on. i want my life to have an impact on others.

I miss playing in a concert band. i miss the trombone quite dearly. And i need band songs again, so if u happen to have some (yes mai i noe u do) send them over to me!! :D ill give u a kiss if ur a girl and hug if ur a guy. (ass groping if ur gay, but please dont stalk me after that)

WAHHAHA GOT SALE SIAAAAAA!!!! come on i know u cheeky cheap singaporeans would wanna look at cheap stuff! so come on down to wakemeup music now!

so many parties nowadays. and all this talk about youngsters. hmmm. i do admit my generation has been causing quite a lot of hassle. too many people who think their cool. :D smokings not cool. underage people sneaking into underage parties! KWAAA!!! whywhywhy?!?!! CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!?!

well heres a goofy picture of me